I like to Phoenix
The first time I saw Princess Diaries
My whole purpose in life
Was to shed the skin of
The person I was
Because that person is TRASH.
But the person i can become?
That’s the person men fall in love with
People give book deals to!
So every year I make a resolution
The year I get on Broadway!
The year I get Madonna arms!
The year I get a hit single!
The year of BANGS!
The year I stop buying fucking clothes!
And Who better to show your phoenixing in action to than people from your past?
That guy that broke your soul in 2012
Your Perfect High School Friends
Every Christmas I’d fly to Grandma’s in my Phoenix glory wanting her to be so proud of me
But then my cousin would show up married
Or with a brand new baby
Babies are the ultimate Phoenix
And then I’d just feel sorry for myself
The opposite of phoenixing
So at New Years
I’d make a vow
And it felt like a RACE to become my best self in 12 months
I can’t say that I’ve actually ever accomplished anything I set out to do
Grandma wasn’t around this holiday
She died last year
She always said
“I just want you to be happy”
Instead of trying to prove to Grandma that I was a Phoenix
I wish I had spent more time just
Being happy with her
Because as much as we want to think that our loved ones are judging us
They really just want us to be happy
So Here’s to 2018
The year of –
Well…I don’t know
I don’t feel like I’m racing to a finish line anymore
it’s kinda nice!